In relationships, apology style reveals frame. Someone married to a Sigma, Alpha or high Beta gets in a fight with them; he will not apologize for nothing. Or she is wrong and he simply will not give in until she apologizes, publicly, repeatedly. Alpha can apologize if he’s wrong, but won’t apologize just to avoid conflict or release tension. Beta’s strategy is to apologize always, even if he doesn’t know what’s going on.

Alpha accepts apologies when they’re due and accepts submission always. The offending party doesn’t need to fully understand what they did wrong, as long as they concede the lead and get out of the way. In many male/female fights, the woman is trying to dominate the husband and wants him to apologize as a way to make him concede power. It’s not that the Alpha won’t apologize for nothing, it’s that he won’t apologize while he thinks he did nothing wrong, or when apologizing would mean submission.

Then you have narcissists, both genders, all over the spectrum, who truly think they did nothing wrong and will only apologize when they’re already on their knees and it’s too late. They don’t apologize because they accept fault; they do it because they see apology as the only way to keep their narcissistic supply—salvage the relationship so they can keep on the abuse. In dating or marriage, that “sorry” is a tool, not a bridge. It buys more time to repeat the pattern.

“Or, she is wrong and he simply will not give in until she apologizes, publicly, repeatedly.” This sounds more like humiliation. A real alpha is above you but leading the way and provisioning so you can follow—leading by example. He’ll kick your ass and call you out when you do wrong, and demand submissiveness when you attempt to put him down. But it’s not about hurting you. Like with kids, strict rules and corrections exist not to destroy, but because leadership carries responsibility